A sense of deja vu

Even amidst these busy times, someone is being ostracized.

No, I'm not talking about myself. I'm talking about my classmate. Noone has said anything about it, but from what I can see, it is very clear cut.

He was confiding in me during the bus journey home about the situation.

He told me a few things.

1. About how someone was talking about going to sing karaoke or going Zouk this weekend and she didn't have the basic courtesy of asking him, especially when he was within earshot of the entire conversation.
   
   
2. About how coming to school is a waste of time as it was not as fun as last time.
   
   
3. About how he has wasted a year, as it is the last semester and he feels that he still have to make new friends.
   
   
4. About how someone used to be so close to him but after the Elizabeth incident, he just doesn't seem to want to mix around with him anymore. I believe his exact words were "He want to have minimum contact with me is it?"
   
   
5. How everyone is minding their own business and treating him like a wall.
   
   
6. About how he is sure that people are talking behind him back saying that he has found new friends to talk to etc etc.
   
   

I can see where he is coming from. But not wanting to take sides, I told him about what I think.

1. He needs to change his mindset about school.
   
   
2. He needs to set his priorities right.
   
   
3. The point of coming to school is to study, not have fun.
   
   
4. He can't expect everyone to go his way. Sometimes, being left out is inevitable.
   
   
5. He hardly attend lectures, and he claimed that he is lonely, of course lah!
   
   
6. Even as his only friend in school (thats what I think), I can't accompany him to slack outside the lecture room because if I slack, who is going to help me? Sure, I believe my other classmates will help me if I ask for their help but there is only so much others can help me with. I still need to rely on my own efforts.
   
   
7. If everyone is studying together, they will know how tough the semester is together. (Think army)
   
   
8. If everyone is working hard and suffering together, they are more willing to help and entertain each other, hence the conversations.
   
   
9. Usually, going out to go clubbing or singing is usually planned last minute. So don't take the talking of plans so seriously.
   
   
10. If they really left you out, is there a need to feel so bad? My classmates hardly asks me to go to their favourite joints because they know I don't like it. Likewise, I don't ask them to go to my favourite joint either. Because most of the time, they already have a group of friends to go with. Asking more people to go along is more about company.
    
    
11. In summary, he should change and help himself so that people will help him and entertain him.

But after so much advice and solutions, I still did not tell him the ugly truth on why people are ostracizing him.

I'm sure everyone knows, not everyone can take MCs like him. If everyone is working hard and suffering together, would they want to be associated with a person who is not putting in effort and yet still score higher than them in the final exam?

I know I am still associating with him not because I want to, but I have to. As a fellow project mate, I cannot let my project grades to be destroyed by my unhappiness. Furthermore, there is already tension between he and another group member already. I'll just keep my role of a peace maker for now.

I pledged that I will not entertain his nonsense anymore, especially if it comes to school work. To me, its work before play. After work, I can entertain him as much as possible, IF I want to that is.

I know how it feels to be left out. A sense of deja vu. A been there done that. But I wasn't ostrazied. I just felt very lonely for a period of time.

Me and my buddies were meeting and going out every week. Then one by one got attached and had no time to meet up.

That was my most down period I reckon. But I've learnt to take things lightly from then on. If people have no time for me, I will always have other things to keep me occupied. Not everyone can suit my schedule and my lifestyle.

Sometimes, I need to change myself to change the situation to my advantage. So far so good!

Hey, reminds me of the Kolb Learning Cycle! Ha!

Ok, on a light note, how do you combat a fever?

Do you do the western method of showering in cold water and sleeping in aircon and infront of a flowing fan?

or

Do the traditional method of showering in hot water and sleeping with thick clothings and sweat it all out?

Hmm, did I write about this before? I can't remember. Oh well, dinner time!

Toodles!