Whos who?

Recalling this conversation I had with my study group a few days back...

Mich was asking, "what is a poser?"

Ralph came up with an example.

"If you are poor and pretend and act like you are filthy rich and all that, you are a poser."

Then I asked him.

If someone who "promotes" his status is called a poser, then what do you call someone who "demotes" his status?

"Oh, that one is even worst. That one is called a hypocrite!"

Our conversation then started to steer towards identifying who is who among the people who know.

The funny thing is, we all came to a conclusion that only one person is eligible to be both a poser AND a hypocrite!

Man, we had a good laugh that day just talking about that person.

Riddle of the day: Can you guess who than person is?

According to http://www.dictionary.com,

A poser is a person who habitually pretends to be something he is not. Also known as a wannabe.

A hypocrite is one who puts on a mask and feigns himself to be what he is not.

Same difference no?

Then I started thinking... The nickname "Lecherous Monk" is one which you can say "demotes" my status.

Does that make me a hypocrite?

Hmmm...

You want to save the trees meh?

I have read and heard all about women and their passion for talking. All they do is talk talk talk! And when they are done. They just talk somemore! It seems that everything no matter how small can be talked about.

Ok, so what?

Well, I finally knew those people meant.

I, the Lecherous Monk, experienced it first hand today!

Exam day, and Sandy offered to give me and another friend of hers a lift to school.

Ok, no problem. Did our normal chitchat and gossiping in the car while she drove to her friend's place.

Woohoo... the minute her friend stepped into the car, those two started yakking away like no tomorrow... all the way until we reached school.

Talk talk talk!

"Marriage... Gossips... More marriage related topics... More Gossips... The revamped Zouk... Zoukout... Even more Gossips..."

Information overload.

From this mutual friend can talk to another friend that will lead to another friend.

Its like being caught in a spider web. How many friends do they have in the first place?! Sheesh!

I have no idea how many names were mentioned in the entire 30 minute journey.

I had absolutely no chance, NO CHANCE at all to join in their conversation. Not that I mind... Their never ending conversation was so interesting that I just pretended to read my notes and tried to take it all in for blogging purposes. Ha!

Erm... those involved don't like what you read tell me hor. I remove.

Now for the exam paper.

According to all my past examinations that I took, extra paper was free flow. There was no limit to how much to write.

In today's paper, there were no writing paper. All the answers were written within the question paper itself because writing space was provided.

Ok, nevermind.

There was one particular question which I cancelled alot of times (when I say alot I really meant ALOT) because I either read the question wrongly or I wrote my workings incorrectly.

So much that I cancel until no more writing space and I still havent figured out the answer yet.

I did not bring liquid paper because I have this tendency to forget to come back later to write over the blanko after attempting other questions.

Have to wait for it to dry mah!

Since that particular question was spread across 2 pages front and back, I raised my hand, got the attention of one of the invigilators and asked if I could have another piece of that particular section.

Take my current one out and staple the new one back.

Easy!

But no...

"Cannot! It's not allowed!" She said.

"Why?! I got no more writing space and I haven't completed this question yet!"

"Blanko it."

"I don't have blanko."

"We get for you"

"..."

Wah lau! What kind of rule is this?! It is only one lousy piece of paper loh! I'm sure you guys have plenty of extra exam papers in stock! Why cannot just take one, just ONE lousy piece off the extras and give it to me!?

You want to save the trees meh?

So with the paper liquid that they brought to me, I spent a good 10 minutes blanko-ing out all the cancelled work. Bloody hell.

Yellow paper turn to white liao loh.

Heng there was more than enough time to finish off my paper. If not I sure make an official complain one.

Thats it for now.

As an ending note...



Skittles Original is addictive...



So is bitter chocolate.

Full steam ahead!

One more day!

Feeling all gan jiong and excited at the same time!

What a feeling!

Woosh!

Now the only module I need to worry about is Macro!

Why? Because I really don't know what to expect of that paper. Have yet to do any past year papers for that yet.

Heng it is last paper.

My next favourite hangout?

Tonight was my turn to buy dinner. Since I'm sick of eating vegetable rice already, I decided to take a walk to Serangoon Central for some form of variety.

Not that there is alot but definetely more than my coffeeshop downstairs...

I had this craving for fastfood while my brother wanted Bak Ku Teh.

KFC or Mac?

Mac or KFC?

Both I also got coupon! Arghhh!

But upon closer inspection, Mac got better offer.

But one Extra Value Meal can get one apple pie/sundae/burger free!

Being the typical Singaporean, of course take the one that offers free stuff loh...

Little did I know that this freebie will bring about more freebies...

In the form of eye candy that is.

Well, its already hard to spot good looking women loitering around Serangoon. (Xiao mei meis don't count hor)

Its even more rare to spot a good looking woman working within Mac itself!

I figured that she is one of the senior staff because of the uniform. Different from what those xiao hun hun are wearing.

Shes tall, has long hair with big eyes!

I've got this thing about girls with big eyes.

Wow, shes got me memorized that I stoned there for quite awhile before hunger pangs hit me back to reality...

Damn, watching too much Smallville really does wonders to my imagination. From an angle, she looks a little like Kristin Kreuk?

I think Serangoon MacDonalds might just be my next favourite hangout!

Must be liao lah!

"Monk, you are my saviour!"

Its amazing how I made someone's day again in the midst of the study break. I didn't know that reading the front portion of the notes would help so much. Glad to be of any help to my fellow shipmate.

Why shipmate?

We on the same boat mah...

The info which I told her was good for people like us, especially when time is not on our side. We can't possibly study all 10 topics right? There is only so much information a human brain can absorb in a day!

Anyway, was reading the papers while taking a break off studying and discovered that Zouk is re-opening already.

Wah. So fast? The last time I heard that it was closing for renovation seems like yesterday!

Too much studying really makes me lose sense of time. When was the last time I went clubbing? *Tries to recall*

Bah. I can't remember.

Re-opening party right before the exams. As far as I know, alot of my classmates all chiongsters one. I wonder if they are going or not...

"Yah, of course I'm going! The rest might go also! I shall msn them later to ask!" were Sandy words.

Wah, not scared of the exams ah? And then it hit me.

Like a bolt of electricity just went through me like that.

You see, in the past, I kept wondering why some of my classmates started studying as early as the day after the project deadline. Need to be so siao on meh?

At first I thought they were being more hardworking. (They are already hardworking, unlike me)

After reading the news, the conversation with Sandy, I decided to blog about it.

I mean, as I said earlier, alot of my classmates are all chiongsters. Infact, they are...

*GASP*

all Zouk siao!

No need to think already. Must be liao lah!

Even Roy who owes me money say he have to pay me at a later date. The reason was because his fist very tight.

Hmmm, study week need to spend money one meh?

Not unless he and the gang are going to Zouk this weekend...

Note: All this are based on my assumption only hor. Flame me if I'm wrong.

I can't blardee wait!

For the blardee exams to end that is!

Why? I'll tell you why!

There is so much to look forward to!

But I can only think of one, ok two things!

The first thing is my 23rd Birthday, but that is still early to decide and plan.

There are more pressing matters at hand, like...



Doom the Movie is coming onto our big screens on November the 3rd! According to the website, the official release is on October 21st.

If you enjoyed the game Doom like I did, this show is not to be missed! Go watch their trailer and get a kick out of it! Go go go!

And guess who the main star is?

Can you? Can you?

Its....

Its...




"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE MAIN STAR IS! "

Get the drift yet?

No?

Man, You don't know who said that?

Ok, I give you a clue.

Wrestling.

Still don't know?

You don't watch wrestling ah? Entertaining leh!

Okok, I give you another clue. Scorpion King.

Know who liao or not?

Ya lah, thats the one.

Can you smell what The Rock is cookin? *Arch one eyebrow*

PS. Two post within an hour. I must be nuts!

How come you know so much about this kinda stuff?

Remember I posted something about reading 70% of the women wear the incorrect bra size? I was just asking that question to one of my classmates out of boredom today while studying. I also don't know how the conversation took a turned in events and soon I was explaining to them on how to measure their bra size.

Then my study group were like...

"How come you know so much about this kinda stuff?"

"Wow, I didn't know that leh!" claimed the females.

Abit skeptical leh, they sounded fake. Don't know real or not...

The conversation then changed from the top to the bottom.

Yep. Underwear.

One of the guys was talking about the weirdest men's underwear he has laid his eyes on. He had such a hard time explaining how it looks like that he had to resort to drawing. From what I see, the butt cheeks looked like breasts! Hahaha!

I did some googling the minute I got home and FWAH...

I didn't know so many types of underwear exists for men! I only thought women had the luxury of choice! I guess I was so so wrong.

According to http://www.bizrate.com, there are 8 types of underwears, 26 features and 23 types of materials to choose from!

I've learnt so much in one night! So much more compared to about 6 hours of mugging. Sheesh!

And I've found the name for the type of underwear we were talking about already.



It is called a jockstrap.

So are you ladies now enlightened?

Private joke

and

Don't match! Hahaha.

Do take note!

I will be changing my blog url to http://thelecherousmonk.blogspot.com with effect on 2nd November 2005. That day is specially chosen because it marks the last exam paper for this semester. (I can't wait!)

Main reason on why I want to change my blog url is because of the url name. Since people now know me as The Lecherous Monk, I feel that the blog url should also be known as the latter.

In the new url, expect my new blog banner to be up. The banner will either be coming from the banner competiton (Closing date 31st October 2005 hor) or from the one that I have done in my own free time. (Still doing)

I predict that I will most likely be using the one that I am doing since all you readers only come, read and go. Set up competition like no competition like that... Sheesh!

Anyway, the new url is booked already. (Kiasu huh?) So make any changes to your browser bookmarks and site links ok? When the time comes, when all you see is an empty page, you know where to head to.

Cheerios!

Quotes of the week

• Fear will make you hesitate. Hesitation will make your fear come true.
• The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but is what direction we are going.
• Man's pitiful weakness is his desire to get something out of nothing.
• Success in life comes not from holding a good hands of cards, but in playing a poor hand well.

Very inspirational?

Not really when you read your some extra course notes only to find these quotes found at the last page.

Apart from doing the tutorials and "challenging" questions and getting all edgy and frustrated, the last thing I want to see is this.

My lecturer can really be an ass, a prick a helpful person with his unconventional and knowledgeable approach sometimes.

These quotes will definitely get us more excited and prepared for the upcoming paper don't you think?

Were the quotes there for the very purpose to make us more gan jiong spider? Because personally, I do not find these quotes to be of any consolation... when I'm already struggling to keep afloat.

Sheesh!

P.S Was reading the Sediction Act after this post to see if I have broken the law with my post or not. I wonder if further editing is required?

I know of 2 law students who read this blog.

Advice me you must!

Clash again!

But its not about clothing colours this time.

Its about timing.

I just saw this at tomorrow.sg



Those interested can head over to the Official Party Website for more details.

A Halloween party!!! I've always wanted to attend a Halloween party! But alas, its in the middle of my exams! If I go I sure will feel guilty one!

Arghh!!!

Better luck next year?

I am so angry...

Was reading the Newpaper while taking a break off studying today. For news, only the suicidal woman was interesting. The more interesting ones were the advertisements.

There was an advert saying that about 70% of women wear the incorrect bra size. Its going to be out in the Urban section of the Straits Times tomorrow.

To all my female readers. Must read ok? Got chance can also tell me if you wearing the correct bra size or not. Hehz.

This other advertisement I saw lagi interesting.



See already eyes open big big.

Not because of the girl lah.

Its about the free gift.

I see also damn pek chek.

Why?

They giving out iPod Nano now! 4gig one somemore! That that I sign up for broadband they gave me an iPod shuffler loh!

Then, after the ipod shuffler, they gave out PSP. Wah kaoz! See also heart pain. PSP can zhng until song somemore. More expensive than iPod shuffler also!

Now they give out iPod Nano! Blardee hell!

#$%!@#$%!@#$!!!

See this advertisement really must pui chao nua. How not to be angry I ask you how?

If this time they giving out Nano, whats up in the future? Xbox 360? PS3?

Bah. I feel ripped off.

The blogging hoo ha

Ok, why this post out of the sudden blue?

Sandy was saying "wah lao ur blog is perpetually STAGNANT"

Sorry lah... I wanted the banner competition to sink in to my viewers leh. Apparently, people were more interested in my Maxim review instead. Somemore I'm on a study break where got time to blog?

Ok, I'm digressing...

I posted this because the timing was just nice loh. Ok, I was doing my usual blog surfing and came across an article by XX about how schools are taking measures when their students blog "bad" things about them. And over small and minor things also. I know the subject of blogging in Singapore has already been discussed to death already, where blogging can either land you in jail or get you suspended from school yada yada yada.

Freedom of speech? None. Freedom to blog? Also don't have. How to vent our frustrations like that I ask you how? Keeping a diary no kick already leh.

How?

Secret messages loh. Like during the ancient times when messages were passed through mooncakes like that. Only now, we do it in a different way.

Funny why nobody commented on this method. I mean, it has been around for like ages!!! Messages are passed to any reader who happens to see it. No I'm not talking about wearing a T-shirt with a message. I'm talking about the last row of seats behind SBS buses. (Funny why only SBS kena and not TIBS)

Notice that there are always some interesting message to read? About who complain about who, who love so and so and other micellaneous chatline and sex advertisements.

And thats not all! There are more places to find such interesting messages. I've encountered a very interesting one today.


The name has been mosiaced to protect the innocent? I took this picture while taking a shit at a public shopping centre/complex/plaza. Don't worry about the other faded text, you will get to read it later.

Apparently, there are pencil drawn arrows written all over the original text to lead your eyes to where to read next.

*Follow arrow*

"Who the hell is he?"

*Follow arrow*

"I heard last year he molested some girl student in the classroom. Beware of him, he won't forget boys too. He even fucked his mother!"

End of message.

Moral of the story

If teachers find that what their students write in their blog as offensive and defamatory... this is considered what?!

Wake up your idea lah.





Lecherous note:

My spies have located someone's blog for me. Bwhahaha. Now I really feel like a stalker. Its all worth it because...






Just for laughs... at my expense!

Too much studying really makes me brain dead sometimes.

I was so brain dead until I entered the female toilet by mistake today.

There was a 20 year old something lady who was just coming out and I think she was startled/shocked/insert word here.

Heng I realised my mistake and apologised immediately and got the hell out.

A guy with a goatee entering a lady's toilet!

She must be thinking that I'm some sick fuck or something trying to molest her or something.

Well, they don't call me the Lecherous Monk for nothing I guess.

Banner Competition

I am currently under going a slight revamption of my blog.

As you can see, I have already made a few minor changes here and there.

The next thing going up my blog will be my banner.

I've already got the picture...

But I have no creativity.

So heres the deal.

Input the words "THE LECHEROUS MONK AND HIS UNHOLY SCRIPTURES" into the picture provided.

Email me the file.

If I like what I see, your name will be up there along with the banner!

Closing date is on the 31st October 2005.

Now lets see what you are made off.

Killing chickens and breaking glass.

I was looking at the tutorial answers off the school's website and I can't make a head or tail out of it! How come the lecturer's answers so long and my one so short! So frustration! Arghh!

Ok, I can do this. Afterall, I've studied 10 topics last few weeks ago! Now its all a matter of trying to draw the graphs and write it in an essay format.

Nvm, take deep breaths. Its all about getting the concepts right. Once done it is all about creative writing. How hard can creative writing get? Its so easy! Easy peasy easy!

Easier said than done.

Help!!!

Ok, thats it for afternoon's drama. I met up with 2 of my army friends for dinner at Ang Mo Kio today. When was the last time I met up with them I can't remember. But it was nice meeting up with the 2 of the members of S4.

We called ourselves that because in the entire batch of intakes, only 4 of us were smokers, thus the name S4.

Then wheres the other one? Located on another continent studying for his degree. Bleahz.

We did alot of catching up but there was only so much we could talk about. One of them suggested going to K-Box since it was quite early.

Wah, I don't know how long I never go KTV sing liao. The last time I went was during my army days. Now, I don't even know got what new chinese songs are there. Nvm, there is always old songs to sing!

Apparently, I was killing chickens and breaking glass inside that room. Yes, I was either singing off key or too high/low pitched. And for your info, my mandrain sucks. Asking me to read those non-simplified chinese is hell! Most of the time I was singing from memory instead of from the lyrics loh! Sheesh.

Well, that concludes my nightlife for the day. I will try to blog about the conversation in other days after I've complied a list. Ha!

Kuching blogger Kenny Sia has done it again. He has this recent obsession over Agent Smith. So obsessed that he came up with a Agent Smith Quote Generator.



It is about you being in Agent Smith's shoes! Type in what you want and voila! The words just pop up!

This was what I typed in...



Go on, pop over to his site and try! If you are so free, maybe you also go through his archives of 4000+ quotes of Agent Smith.

Lecherous Note

It appears that some of my friends who know about this blog has a problem of how to hide my identity. They have pictures of me but they don't know how I want my face to be mosiac-ed or something.

So I did some drawing using MS Paint. The next time u can just use this picture and cut and paste over my face if you want to!

(Scroll Down)

















Ta dah!!!

Its back!

My post editor is back to normal!!! Weee!!! So happy!!~

Owe Money Pay Money!

Finally the fucking project is completed! Now that it is over, I have a lot of things to bitch about. In summary:

1. I have never ever seen a person who thinks that every power point can fit in 2 pin plugs. Using a pen to poke into the 3rd hole so that the plug can go in is just so lazy! For goodness sake, get a 2 pin plug adapter already!


2. I have never ever edited my part of the report so many times before.


3. I have never spent so much time doing a group project before. Perfection is one thing. Punctuality is another, which brings me to my next point.


4. I have never ever waited for anyone for 4 hours before in my whole life. This is the first time. I hope it will be the last.


5. Lastly, I have never spent so much money of a report before. The whole report, including contingency plan cost and cab far totals up to $51.00. What the fuck?!

How did I derive up to this amount? Well, for starters, “R” came out with $16, “L” came out with $3.50, and yours truly came up with $22.30 + $8.9 cab fare. Total cost is approximately $51.

As of now, The Lecherous Monk is also known as Mr Calculative.

$51 divided by 6 members is $8.50 each.

Who pay?

• “L” pay $5


• “I” pay $8.50 because you fall out early you punk!


• “E” pay $1.50 as she paid me $7 earlier.


• “S” pay $1.50 as she paid me $7 earlier too.

Who receive?

• “R” receive $7.50


• Yours truly receive $9 as “E” and “S” paid me $7 each already.

For simplistic sake, do pass the money to me so that I can divide it equally. I know some of my group members read my blog. Owe money pay money! Better pay up the next time you see me ah!

Arghhh, today has been so hectic. I didn’t even had my breakfast and lunch! My dinner was my first meal of the day! Blardee hell…

I did manage to destress in the end though. After the project was handed up, I asked Michelle if she wanted to watch this movie with me.



She didn’t know what the show was all about. When I told her the title she almost freaked out.

“Is it a scary show?”

“Don’t watch scary shows lah! I’m scared!”

“Is the show good?”

I told her that it was NOT a scary show and the show was not bad. She didn’t sound convinced. I had to even tempt her by using the if-you-find-the-show-unsatisfactory-I-will-refund-your-movie-ticket before she agreed. Wah lauz!

We bought tickets for the 7.10pm show. Since it was early… I suggested that we had our dinner first. I felt that I was about to die of hunger there and then.

Through our conversations, I found out that she is very talented in sports. She was telling me about this and that sport she took up and all that competitive spirit kinda shit. When she asked about me & sports, I told her that I only know how to hustle and be hustled in pool and snooker. Haha.

Overall, the movie was ok lah. But I would recommend watching it during weekdays.

Anyway, do try to bear with me for this month because beginning tomorrow; I have to start studying for my exams. (There are many blogs out there! Why me?!)

I won’t know if I can find the time or find anything interesting to blog about or not.

What? You want to check my study progress?

You must be mad.

So sian!

Currently blogging from the school lab. My group leader is so fucking late, and he was the one who set the meeting time at 12pm somemore. Call him and his phone is off. How to contact him like that I ask you how?

So right now, we are doing what we can for the project. We can't really do much because most of the info is in his laptop! Arghhh!!!

P.S I miss this layout man... Looks so good. This post editor has been forcing me to go scouting around for other blogs to try. I have already short listed a few already. If after the exams my post editor is still giving me problems, I think I will do a switch. I have this thought for a long time already.

Ok, project time!

I’m so disappointed with myself

Remember I was doing the Blackhighheels of Fivers? There was a part on what I want to do before the week ends…

Lets check.

Five things you plan to do before this week ends

1. Format my com one more time and see if my blogger post editor can work or not. (Not done. I discovered that I’m not the only one with such a problem but I also lazy to keep formatting. Takes a good 2 hours to restore all applications leh!)
   


2. Try to finish the group project by this weekend. (Done… for my part that is. Yet to do recommendations & conclusion. Deadline is this Tuesday! Help!)



3. Go Music Underground to chiong for the last time until exam ends. (Done. Quite a meaningful “last” time. Good music, good company, good liquor, a lot of good girls, a lot of chao geng, a lot of people lying in their own pool of vomit.)



4. Rearrange my notes on my study table. Everything is in a mess! (Not done. But the week has not ended yet right?)



5. Try to know more girls. (Not done, amongst all the single girls I’ve identified, I went to knew none of them. I betrayed myself. I went to know a guy instead. Before you all get the wrong impression, let me explain myself. I DID NOT find him attractive. I merely found him familiar. When I went up to introduce myself, I managed to identify that he was indeed that person who frequents the same forum as me!)

Only completed 2 out of 3 tasks. Even though I’ve set targets for myself… Sheesh. I’m so disappointed with myself.

Today is my Mother’s birthday. Happy Birthday Mum! Thank you for all these years for raising this lecherous son of yours without complaints.

Hmmm, my Father has to work even on a Sunday, so he cannot bring her out go pak tor. I guess that leaves me & my brother to do the job then.

Some random thoughts

Pool & Snooker cannot mix. Sure miss one. Especially if you haven’t been practicing in a long long time…

You say I say segment

Some species will always be used to pepper our daily speech. Apart from the rhymes likes gabra zebra, yaya papaya, hunky monkey… Some none rhyming terms are being used also, which brings me about to ask these questions:

1. Why is the sotong blur?


2. Why is the spider gan jiong?

Anymore to add?

BlackHighHeels of Fivers

Wah lau, where got people pass the heel instead of the baton one? If pass one heel need to pass another mah. They come in pairs you know…

And I never said that I think you were not sexy loh! I was just respected your wishes! Sheesh~

Anyway, since this is the first time I’m doing this, don’t blame me if I go somewhat off track ya?

Five colours and the first sexy/sex-related item that comes to mind:

Eh, I’m not too good with lingerie leh…

1. Black - Long Lustrous Hair (Like those you see in the shampoo ads type)


2. Gold - Babydoll (Not that type of doll babydoll lah, I’m talking about clothing babydoll)


3. Pink - Lips. (Go figure!)


4. Red – T-back/V-back thongs/g-strings (Yea baby yea!)


5. White – Wedding gown ( I always have that random thought of banging my wife in that suit)

Five celebrities of the same sex that you COULD have a crush on

1. Richard Gere (He is damn suave loh)


2. John Travolta (He is another cool dude. I like it when he plays the bad guy)


3. Sean Connery (What? I can’t like old geezers?)


4. Will Smith (I like his body. Not too beefy, not too skinny. Just right)


5. I cannot think of anymore liao lah… I don’t even think of guys in the first place, let alone having a crush!

Five things you plan to do before this week ends

1. Format my com one more time and see if my blogger post editor can work or not.


2. Try to finish the group project by this weekend. Fucking waste of time ah this project!


3. Go Music Underground to chiong for the last time until exam ends.


4. Rearrange my notes on my study table. Everything is in a mess!


5. Try to know more girls.

Five singers/artistes/Djs whose song can make you dance/groove

I really dunno ah this one. I’ve been listening to so much Class 95 love songs lately. As for eurodance songs, I heard a few nice ones lately but I dunno the singer/artiste!

Five people you wish to pass this heel/baton to

1. Gabrielle needs to take a break off her studies.


2. Lil`D needs to give some updates other than his work!


3. Luke Chan who shares the same problem as me with his post editor.


4. Michelle who also needs to take a break before the exam starts.


5. Come to think of it… I don’t have much blogging friends leh.