How true(?)

I was doing my not-so-daily reading of other people's blogs and when I saw this post, I just had to lau zei it.

Excerpt:

Blogging is mental masturbation. You can either do it in the privacy of your room (albeit: pen and paper) or you can be kinky and wank off in public, where the thrill of other bloggers discovering your nasty habit is high.

Admit it, you want to be caught. It gives you a sense of exhiliration. You blog because you want the rest of the world to share the experience with you, otherwise you might as well just kill a few trees and start a diary instead.

But when you get caught, you cry bloody murder. Nobody forced you to post those pics. Nobody put a gun to your head and told you to write those words. You did it - all by yourself. You wanted to.

You practically sign away all your rights to privacy when you blog.

Read all about it here at Cowboy Caleb's blog.

And so I wonder to myself, how true is that?

First there was a big hoo haa over the Sarong Party Girl's tits on the web, then Malaysian blogger minishorts got flamed at by some parent because of her interesting stories after her publicity in the nation's newspaper. I wonder what's next?

Sure, I started blogging because I wanted to share any experiences with my friends. Reading my friend's blogs is also a form of keeping in touch with them in my opinion.

So long never meet up? Wonder how is he/she doing? Read their blog loh. That way, you somehow know what they are doing without even asking them about it, if you find that the technology of sms-ing or msn is taking up too much of an effort on your part.

Scenario using MSN or SMS

Me: Hi Friend! So long never keep in touch liao. How are you?

Friend: Ok loh, still the same. Working at somewhere now. You?

Me: Studying loh. Getting that degree to fulfil my mother's dream.

*Silence*

Admit it, I'm sure this kind of talk-awhile-then-silence conversations always happens. So as not to waste your time and your friend, just leave a comment in his/her blog loh!

The person who came up with blogging is one smart person.

The second reason I blog is because the blog serves as an outlet for frustrations bottled inside me. Everyone is saying that keeping to yourself is a bad thing etc etc.

Sure, someday if I do get caught, I only have myself to blame.

So what do you have to say about you and your blog?

Fellow bloggers unearth!

Oh yea, I was just doing a blog surf and surprise surprise. There are many people out there who likes to talk about Singapore, be it political, comical, the gahmen or the legal side of it. And many of them are quite informative I must say. Some of them also kena tommorrow-ed leh.

Like I always say, if you have the time to visit this blog, you will always have the time to do something else. I have compiled a list of these talk-about-Singapore blogs in no particular order for you peepz. If you are always bored, you can always pop over and read their entires. I can't give much reviews of them as of date as I only just discovered them! And I'm sharing with you readers out there already!

See how good I am? Always giving you readers priority...

1. Atypical Singaporean
   Because Everyone Thinks They're Unique
2. Commentary Singapore
   Decoding the little red dot.
3. From a Singapore Angle
   Looking a world and local events from a Singaporean perspective
4. Singabloodypore
5. Singapore Alternatives
   A blogger's political dream is to build a true alternative in Singapore. Alternative to PAP government, of course.
6. Singapore Ink.
   kopi, tea and lager
7. Singapore Serf
   "There are people who go, people who stay."
8. The Police State
   To serve and protect...and to never question...
9. Blog of The Singapore Loyalist
10. SINGAPORE HERALD
    Before the Straits Times, it was this.
11. The Singapore Commentator
    Commentaries on events and issues in Singapore.
12. Molly Meek
13. The Void Deck
14. Singapore Watch
15. The Young Republic
    A List For Young Singaporeans, By Young Singaporeans
16. Vox Leo - A Singaporean Voice
    Hear the Lion roar!

There you have it. 16 fellow bloggers talking about Singapore blogs. I believe there are many more out there waiting to be unearthed. From the looks of it, I have alot to learn from them. But then again. If people like my style of writing, why should I be copying them?

Just lau zei a few articles or two lah...

Which Malaysian Blogger Are You?

Congratulations Lecherous Monk, you are...

Huai Bin of sixthseal.com

You are all about recklessness, controversy and not living life by the rules. As a rebel against convention, you demeanor intimidates people who don't know you. Despite most people's negative first impression, you are just a simple person who enjoys doing what you do, and keeping it real all the time. You may have a lot of friends but you also have a lot of enemies. You can be very protective of your friends, standing up for them at the cost of putting yourself in the firing line. You are real. You say what you mean, and you mean what you say.

Which Malaysian Blogger Are You?

Ok, I haven't been surfing the other blogs lately and I just stumbled upon this at Kenny Sia's blog. I am Huai Bin of sixthseal.com? Hmmm. I remember starrfish recommending his blog to read but I haven't got the time to go about it.

Maybe after this, I will!

I remember there was a "Which Singapore Blogger are you?" that time but I was still using friendster blogs at that time and they don't support html posts! Bah!

Of parangs, beer bottles and billard cues...

What do these 3 objects have in common? Apparently, these objects have more use than one, which I will talk about in the next part of the Uniquely Singapore series!

Uniquely Singapore Series Part #3

Where else in the world can you find the use of such objects in a fight.

Gun fights? That is so unheard of in our sunny little island, where only those men in blue working for the gahmen are allowed to carry a gun.

In Singapore, using what you have around you is the best solution.

I remember one Stephen Chow movie (can't recall) where someone was demostrating the use of a chair as a weapon and when the police arrives at the scene, just sit on the chair pretending nothing has happened. Its not so hilarious in words. You have to see it to laugh lah.

Ok I'm getting off track.

Sure, fights can occur anywhere and everywhere when you least expected it. Here are some typical scenarios.

Scenario 1: At the market

Young butcher is about to finish up for work and his chio girlfriend drops by to wait for him.

The butcher was in a foul mood due to (insert reason)

He spots some chao ah beng oogling at his girl.

"Nabeh! You bio my char boh ah? Die!"

*Rushes to that frail golden hair monkey with his parang.*

Scenario 2: At the coffeeshop

After having a little too much Tiger to drink, he starts to imagine that his best friend was hitting on his girl.

"Knn! I treat you like brother you made me a cuckold? Die!"

*Breaks beer bottle and stabs his friend, and in his drunken slumber, stabs his girlfriend as well*

The above mentioned weapons are just a few examples. Like I said, anything around the attacker can be used as a weapon. In other countries, people just settle it in a shoot out ala cowboy style or a drive pass.

What a safe country Singapore is don't you think? Uniquely Singapore enough?

Author's note: The above post was inspired by Brudder Kael who posted something about the need for bullet control instead of gun control overseas.

Excerpt:

Thug 1: We gonna settle it right here, right now!

Thug 2: Bring it on motherfucker...

Thug 1: You got bullets ma man? I ain't got no cash tonight, the police are fuckin up our turf and throwin my hommies in cells.

Thug 2: Shit nigger, the police has been roughin up ma turf too! Let's settle this like real niggas with no cashflo.

Thug 1: Aight cool. I've got scrabble.

Thug 2: I'mma whoop yo ass.

Thug 1: Well you lost motherfucker, time to die *busts out the piece*...on second thoughts, I'm just gonna knife you and save me some cash.

Read all about it here.

Durians

The durian season is here. Everywhere I turn, I see durian stalls. Everywhere I surf, I see people making a comment about durians. I'm surrounded by durians that I too had to jump onto the bandwagon.

Me and my good army buddy were walking pass a durian stall in Toa Payoh towards the coffeeshop for dinner.

The smell... Buay Tahan ah!

One second we were merely commenting about eating. The next we were asking the hawker how much he was selling the king of fruits. Yes, we bought oursleves some durians. Actually, its not some. Its only one. But its big! And its only $5!

Aiyah, I know cannot compare to the durian pickers. Typical Singaporeans. Got free of course better right? Ok, I'm digressing...

The durian proved to be too much for us even after we waited an hour after dinner before consuming it. 16 seeds leh! 2 person eat 8 seeds each! Overdose sial!

Now I'm so bloated I can't sleep. How? Blog loh.

As I'm still new in the blogging scene, I love to read other people's blogs and their blog recommendations. You never know, you may find an interesting read out there. I've stumbled a few and got referred to many. So many blogs to read, so little time. Will update the blogs I read as I go along. Promise!

So have you had your durian yet?

That time lah! Remember anot?

Hello readers! In today's series, I shall talk about the issue of personal money. This trait of mine may also be the trait of other people, including non-Singaporeans as well.

Typical Singaporean Series Part #2

Scenario: Coffeeshop

Drinks Auntie: Ai lim mai? (Any Drinks for you?)

Ken: Ai! Ai! (Yes, yes!) Eh what you all want? Apple Tea ah?

The rest of us: Ok lah, anything.

Ken: Auntie, si gong apple tea, Seasons eh hor. (Auntie, 4 cans of Seasons Ice Apple Tea)

Auntie: Orkay~

When the drinks arrive, some had $2 note in their hands, some $5, some $10.

Auntie: Lai, long zong si khor buik. (Total is $4.80)

Only Wei Wen had $5. So naturally, he paid with his $5 note.

Author's note: I don't know about some of you guys but there are some people who are willing to spend their money as though it is their treat everytime. It doesn't happen to me nor my friends I mix with. We are calculative about money and who owes who, narrowed down to the nearest $0.10. Yes, we are that gei gao. (calculative)

All of us gave Wei Wen our $2 and $10 respectively. Except Colin, who gave him $0.20.

Colin: Eh, you still owe me $1 for that sugar cane drink that time right? Nah, 20 cents. Boh Lai.

Wei Wen: Got meh?

Colin: Got! That time lah! Remember anot?

Wei Wen: Orrhh ok ok! (After some time recalling)

Me: Eh, my $10 change where?

Wei Wen: Aiyah, no small change lah, $10 so big! You think I ATM meh?

Me: Or later we go 7-11 buy drink then I pay you back lah. $1.20 right?

Wei Wen: Yah

And there you have it. When it comes to money, even my friends don't take it lightly. And I still wonder why are we like that? Ian Kwan was also like that. I lent him $1 to buy stamps and he return that as soon as he had some loose change available. Is it a Chinese thing or what? Cannot be. Because in poly, my Malay and Indian friends also like that. Our Singapore upbringing perhaps?

Maybe its because....

...

...

...

KNN! I don't know lah! Headache already!

Any suggestions from you readers?

Does this kind of behaviour even happen in other countries?

Do enlighten me.

So are you a typical Singaporean?

The Typical Singaporean and Uniquely Singapore Series!

I have decided to have a theme for my blog. You guys may have read about this kind of topics from the newspapers, 8days and other sources. And that is talking about Singaporeans and Singapore. Only difference is that it will be from my point of view.

Feeling bored already? Don't read loh.

Typical Singaporean Series Part #1

Having gone to a neighbourhood school during my younger days, I've come across all sorts of people that you can hardly find in high class schools like RI and Chinese High.

People who joined gangs, got into fights, smoke and speaking Hokkien as though it was their 1st language.

And at that point of time, it was fun to go to school and mingle with these type of people. Now I know why they call school their second home. It really had that homely feeling.

Nope, I didn't join a gang nor started smoking at that age.

I learnt how to speak and understand some Hokkien!

Which brings me to this. Learning Hokkien has a positive and negative effect on me.

For one, I am now able to slightly understand Hokkien conversations.

But on the bad side, vulgar Hokkien words will most commonly be used and that includes the famous Chao Chee Bye (CCB) and Kanina (KNN). If something goes bad, we scold Chee Bye, If it is good we also scold Chee Bye.

In many cases, its tends to be a battle cry.

Every sentence start with either CCB or KNN. Sheesh!

Not only the Chinese say it, but the Malays and Indians as well. Sure they had their own version of the particular female anotomy but that is another story altogether.

Which Singaporean don't use these words? I bet you my left testicle that you have used a Hokkien vulgarity at least once in your life.

It's becoming to common that it makes us so different from our Western counterparts who just use the word "fuck" in their daily speech.

Hey, we Singaporeans use the word "fuck" too! So does that make us special or what? Heh.

So are you a typical Singaporean?

Where art thou?

Insert: Uniquely Singapore Series Part #1

Where is the fucking cab whenever you need one? And it always happens!

You don't need a cab, the vehicles in

• blue,
• yellow,
• green,
• red or
• white just parks in front of you hoping you will hop on.

When you need a cab, these vehicles are

• no where to be seen,
• busy,
• on call,
• snatched away by others standing further ahead of you or
• they just whiz past you with no passengers in their backseat.

You wait for a good half an hour or eternity before God takes pity on you and sends a cab to your location, only to find that

• the driver is not on the way,
• he is changing shift and is also not on the way or
• he hears your destination and rejects you as his passenger.

WTF? Hello? We are trying to contribute to your rice bowl leh! Come out of your hiding places when there is a need/hide your sorry ass and vehicles when there isnt already!

I like to think of it as a very Singapore trademark. Uniquely Singapore indeed! The last time I went overseas, taxis were all over the place and like some blockbuster movie, a cab will always be there when you need one, even if you are not standing in a taxi stand.

I don't see this happening in Singapore anytime soon.

------------------------

The need to catergorise my posts will make posting much easier when I write in the near future. No concrete details at the moment as I'm still working on it.

Come to think of it, I think liquidblade blogs suits my every need after looking at all the different types of blogs.

Lets hope Blogspot and my friends proves me wrong.

Don't go to the arcade so much!

Remember my previous post on the increase of fares? At that point of time, I really felt like I had to do something to help me save cost. Since I travel by bus pretty often, I felt like inputting $1 for any journey that costs more than $1 on the EZ-Link card, and hope that there won't be any bus conductors boarding the bus to do a spot check. For MRT wise, I hoped that my EZ-Link card gets chosen for their lucky draws that can entitle me a year of free rides. Or the most unethical method. Finding a student's wallet with their EZ-Link card in it and use, praying that they won't deactivate their card.

And then it dawned on me that previously, there were EZ-Link cards for children. The card has a yellow backing compared to the Adult's blue and the Senior Citizen's purple. Now how can I buy a child EZ-Link card without arousing suspicion?

Get a kid to buy it for me lah! But who? At my age, I don't know of any kids! And most kids are usually with their over protective parents. Who can blame them, with missing children in the forests and all going on.

I finally concluded that the best place to get a kid to help me purchase my card was at the amusement arcade. I used to frequent that place without the company of my parents when I was younger and I know that there will be many these type of kids there. Eh, I'm a student on a budget, travelling expenses very high you know?!

Many many kids at the arcade. Like a lion stalking its prey, I finally chose one and asked him to help "kor kor" with something.

Its reminds me so much when I was young. My Mother was always telling me, "Don't go to the arcade so much! So many bad guys! You mix with the wrong company how? Kena cheated or kidnapped how?" Well, I didn't get kidnapped as my Mother had darkly predicted. Growing up in that kind of environment, I became more street wise. Now, I am just putting the skills I've acquired to some cunning use.

I asked him to help me buy a child farecard and if successful, I will give him $5 cash. Kids. They are so gullible. The sound of $5 ringing in his head was too tempting. He immediately agreed without much consideration and off we went to the MRT station.

All my efforts gone to waste lah. The child EZ-Link is no longer available for sale! In the end I gave him $2 (half heartedly) for his efforts.

I can already hear you readers saying "Orr Bee Good! Serves you right for exploiting a child!"

Yea yea whatever. So I'm now stuck with the original method of using $1 coins for long bus journeys.

The morale of the story? Teach your kid well. What s/he goes through today will be useful in the future. It worked for me.

Ok, you readers can start flaming me. I've got my fire extinguisher ready.

David Copperfield and his disappearing act in the making!

Author's Note: No names will be mentioned in this post. (I think I should make this note into a template!) Neither am I spilling any beans. For you Sherlock Homes wannabes out there. All the best in your detective work ya? Now that I'm done with the necessities, let us proceed shall we?

I had a dream last night.

I dreamt that I was Superman, soaring through the clear blue skies.

I passed by an aeroplane, waving to the surprised passengers as I flew past.

Until I saw the pilot.

The pilot was a total stranger, but looked familiar.

After some thinking, I knew who the pilot was.

It was her.

It dawned on me there and then. She put my aeroplane lah!

And then I woke up.

Yep. Although the designated meet up was due for Tuesday 14th June 2005, I did not get any response from her since last Tuesday. Subsequent SMSes were not replied and calls were left ringing.

My first thought was that she had problems accessing to her mobile phone as this problem happened before. But the least she could do was call me! That was what she did that time when she didn't have access to her mobile phone the last time!

Is she getting cold feet already? It was her idea in the first place! And to think I took the trouble of thinking where to bring her and how to spend the day since she wanted me to plan. Bah! Women! They get all interested and agree to go out with you and when the date is looming close, POOF! David Copperfield and his disappearing act in the making!

I know I should wait to hear her side of the story before posting such nasty comments but even then, I have already minus points. What? Women can add and minus points off men but not vice-versa? Bah! Women! Again!

Things won't be the same as before I'm sure. Although it was a first date, she sure gave me a really bad impression.

End.

P.S Credits to Raphael for the Superman, Aeroplane and Pilot concept. His concept, my own experience. For you readers.

You work at MacDonald's?

No names will be mentioned in this post to protect the embarrassed innocent. (as usual) The place of incident will not be mentioned as well. I'm just protecting my friend (and myself) you know...

It started out when we met at "a place in Orchard" to waste the Saturday away. My friend came late due to some family commitments. When he finally did, ee came strolling ala those "big brother big" in those Hong Kong movies. Wearing a checkered shirt and a cigarette his hand. Wah. Damn cool man. After exchanging hellos with the rest of the gang, we went to "a building" to chill and hangout.

Everyone must have wandered off in separate directions in the building and when I wanted to ask my friend to join me in a particular activity, I had to practically hunt him down. The place ain't big so there wasn't a need to waste a phone call on him. I spotted the checkered shirt guy from behind and called him. To my astonishment, it wasn't my friend. It was merely a lookalike. The shirt and hair and "seh" and all. At closer inspection, the checkered shirt was almost similar in design but different in colour. The best part? The shirt had a logo of MacDonald's on it.

At that moment, I spotted my friend and called out to him.

"Eh, you work in MacDonald's ah?" Trying to contain my laughter.

"No, why?"

I pointed at the guy in the similar checkered shirt. My friend looked him, then at himself, then me. Seeing that I was already laughing my heart out, he couldn't take it and started laughing as well. At that moment, I wasn't sure if it was a sarcastic laugh or what...

At that moment, I wanted to whip out my mobile phone to snap a picture of him and the MacDonald's guy but he stopped me. From his expression, I realised that he was pissed. Eeeks!

If I wanted to blog about it, which I am doing it now, I will have to do it the safe way. Therefore, no real pictures and concrete information for you readers today...

The moral of the story? Don't buy checkered shirts. Stick to plain ones or those with elaborated or unique patterns. They can never go wrong. Ever!

Unless you have a bad dress sense of course.

Toilet designers very smart huh?

The day was Thursday. I finally met up with 2 of my homies Mr Kwan and Brudder Kael after don't know how long. We met at 1630 hrs at Bishan MRT Control Station, a place I haven't been to for also don't know how long.

Salutations were exchanged and it felt just like the good old times. Everyone was still the same as ever. That weird sense of humour and the razor sharp wit we used to exchanged with each other. We explored Junction 8 for awhile but nothing caught our eye. So, we proceeded to the purpose of the meet up: dinner and some catching up.

We settled for a coffeeshop because

1. It was cheaper for the all of us. (Reminds me of the past budget outings we used to have)
2. Erm... Theres no reason 2, I think.

Over dinner, we caught up with what everyone was up to. Mr Kwan had recently joined a gym and is turning gay is in the police force while Brudder Kael was in the process of watching his BMI by cycling every night and working part time at Starbucks. Me? Read the rest of my blog lah. You will know what I'm up to.

Their love life? Some flings here and there but the ultimate result, they are all still single eligible bachelors just like me!

We talked about blogs too and Mr Kwan said that I was stalking him as I read his blog every now and then. Bah! I was just trying to keep in touch about whats going on in his life and this was the reply I get. Thanks hor Mr Kwan? Anyway, we didn't hang around long because Mr Kwan had to go to pump some iron at his $500 plus membership gym. Fitness First leh! Mai siao siao!

As such, we made a move to the MRT station. But first things first. The need to unload water in our system. Junction 8 we went.

The washroom was confusing. Gone were the days of just a simple picture and the words of Male and Female. Instead, the picture was now an oversized colourful face of a male and a female respectively. If not for the words at the bottom of the picture, I won't be surprised if we accidentally entered the wrong one.

What caught my eye was the pictures on the cubicle doors.

"Wah! Nowadays the toilet designers very smart huh? Got pictures like these?" I told Mr Kwan.

Gone were the days when you need a squatting cubicle and you had to push open every unlocked door to check if you were lucky to pick the type of cubicle you wanted. Now, all you need to do is just look at these signs on the door.



and



Of so many public toilets I had visited during my 23 years on earth, this is the first time I see something so ingenious. Every public toilet in the world should put up these signs I tell you. And they said writing anything about the washroom would only consist of shit, urine or the cleaniness of the place. I have just proved all you readers wrong! Bwhahaha!

We did what the Army taught us during field camp.

I was rushing to the toilet at Dhoby Ghuat NEL's station due to the cold aircon in the bus. No you did not misread, I took a bus and alighted near Dhoby Ghuat yesterday. To my horror of horror, the GOD DAMN TOILET WAS LOCKED FOR CLEANING!

I didn't think my bladder could tahan that long and my brain went into speed thinking. Where was the next available toilet?! SMRT? Plaza Singapura? I figured that SMRT was nearer to where I was so I fast walked/jogged there.

Yes yes, laugh. Laugh your heart out.

For those who wished that I took a leak in my pants, you can start wishing again. The SMRT's toilet was not locked for cleaning. You can imagine the expression on my face when I just let go in front of the urinal.

Ok, if you managed to read this far without getting grossed out, lets proceed. After that minor incident, it had got me thinking...

Have you noticed that after watching a midnight movie at a neighbourhood cinema, the only way out is out of the building? What happens if you needed to take a leak at that time? The last time I watched a midnight movie at Bishan Junction 8 was more than 6 months ago. After the movie, the way out was out of the building, and there were no shops open at that time, which means no toilet. Everyone of my friends (all guys) needed to pee badly and we did what the Army taught us during field camp.

No prizes for correct answers though.

I don't know about now but Bishan ain't a place for me watching midnight movies until some kind soul tells me that there is toilets available in the vinicity!

Lecherous Note:

I have just finished reading Kenny Sia's blog. If you have so much time to even visit my blog to read some of my rants, you must dedicate more time to reading Kenny Sia's blog then. His blog is like heroin, once you start reading, you want more, and more!

You get the picture.

I feel like spitting into her food!

Colin, Ken, Wei Wen and I paid Tampines Mall a visit last Saturday. It was another day of neighbourhood exploring. And we haven’t been there in ages. At Tampines MRT station, I couldn’t help but be reminded of something I read at a local website a few years back. What was it?

The Prophecies

So the prophecies were true. Tampines is Orchard Road number 2! Babes galore with a neighbourhood dressing! Plenty of eye candy to ogle at! Oose baby!

The crowd I had to mingle with just to get to the main entrance of Tampines Mall from the MRT Station reminded me of the underpass linking Takashimaya and Wisma Atria. Slow moving, minus the aircon.

You can imagine how we felt when we finally got to the entrance of the mall.

Yes! Aircon! At last! Since we haven’t been to Tampines for quite awhile, we decided to explore the mall floor by floor.

1st Floor

The first floor had an exhibition about SKII products. And sale promotions were going on at the retail outlets. Boring.

2nd Floor

More sale promotions.

3rd Floor

“Eh” Colin asked. “Is it me or is the air-con not strong enough? I’m feeling warm!”

“Ya loh, ya loh! I feel the same also!” We replied in chorus.

“Maybe Tampines Mall isn’t equipped to handle so much traffic flow, with such a crowd, this type of aircon where got enough?!” I added while looking at the human crowd. “And how come come in cannot see any chais liao?”

After looking at more sale promotions from all the different retail outlets at every other floor, we came to the top storey, where the arcade is. Ok, I lied about the neighbourhood exploring. We came to whack some records using the tokens we won during the recent competition. Team Xtreme is in the house!

Dinner Time
“Eh eat what huh?” I asked the rest.

“Something cheap please! I’m going broke!” was Ken's reply.

“Cheap ah? Food Court loh. Any objections?” I turned to ask Colin and Wei Wen.

They shook their heads.

“Eh, you all go find seats first, I need to go pee. Urgent ah!” Ken spoke before fast walking to the gents.

Cunning little bastard. Leaving us to do the dirty work.

The hunt for seats

The food court was packed! To even say packed is an understatement. The dinner time crowd was out in full force. “Eh, we better split up. Call when you find a seat.” I said to the rest before we seperated 3 ways.

While waiting, the makcik of an old malay couple beckon to me. They were about to leave and offered to give me their seats.

“Thank you Auntie!”

I took out my handphone and was about to call the rest when it happened. A man of late 30s or early forties came and put his bag on the opposite chair.

I looked at him.

“Eh mister, I came here first.”

“I waited very long already” he replied before calling out to his wife and daughter to come over.

I was like WTF? I didn’t care. I just looked at him and said, “I also wait very long, and I came first, so can you find another table?”

By then his family had already and were ready to settle on the other side of the table.

“No time. Come sit down, what you want to eat?” He said to me and his family at the same time.

I was bewildered. Do such rude people even exist? Cursing under my breath, I just left and went to another area to look for seats. I was lucky. I got in less than 5 minutes and got the rest to gather.

The dinner conversation revolved around the experience of finding of seats by each of my friends minus Ken.

“I got a table already and some girl came and sat down just like that! Her friends also found a table at another side of the foodcourt but no, she wanted her friends to come over. Auto abit mah! The table got her name or something ah?” Wei Wen recounted his story with us.

Things didn’t look good at Colin’s side either.

“That woman damn chee b** loh! She knew that I was eyeing her table and you know what she did? She started pushing her food around the plate and started eating her rice grain by grain while talking on her phone! I feel like spitting into her food!” he cursed between mouthfuls of his lor mee.

Which brings about another saying. In Singapore, nothing comes cheap or free. Tampines may be Orchard Road 2. But a reputation like that comes with a price. The mall is not cold enough and the people are rude or have an attitude problem.

What is it with Tampines Mall and the people who patronize there? The lack of air-conditioner must have fried their brain cells or something!

Sheesh!

Time stood still

*Disclaimer: The name of the person in this post has been changed to protect the identity of the guilty innocent.

It was an off day for one of my best buddies, Dave. He made an appointment with me to meet at a neighbourhood between our homes. And so I went at the appointed time plus plus a few hours. Wait a minute, there was no appointment time! You said you were going there early and asked me to come ASAP!

We met at the usual place. The amusement arcade. What? Big grown men can’t go to the arcade? For your info, the current games are becoming far more sophisticated and expensive for kids to patron without their parents accompanying them.

So I stepped into the arcade and saw Dave playing the game we have been playing for months. (Hey, we are the top 2 in Singapore for that game okay? Don’t play play ah…) Not wanting to disturb his game play because of my distraction, I sat at an empty machine watching him. Actually, it is more of the girls crowd that I’m watching. What for see his game play? It is similar to mine! We trained together! God, I sound so gay just saying this.

15 minutes later…

Upon inputting his name on the high score list, he noticed me but did not come over. Instead he started inspecting the machine. For what matter I do no want to know. And the next thing I knew, he bent down…

Time stood still…

If only I could erase that awful thing I saw…

I was stoned…

I tried to look away but my eyes were glued to it…

It was clear that everyone in the arcade was minding their own business…

Only, me, the lucky unlucky one who got a chance to see it…

I suddenly felt nauseous, I felt like throwing up…

It was cavernous…

It was in front of me…

I saw…

…his ass crack.

I thought I was going blind. I wouldn’t mind ogling if it was some hot babe exposing her T-back G-string but this? This was disgusting! It is as disgusting as men wearing tight jeans and having his balls straining against the fabric! Gawd! It was A.W.F.U.L.

“Eh Quek, why so late? How was the IT Fair?”

That shook me up.

“Huh? Never go lah. No kaki leh. Wake up late loh, as usual. Oh yea, I just saw your ass crack when you were bending down just now. You looking for what?” Saying as though it was all linked together…

*Speechless*

“Good! Something to write about in my blog tonight!” gloating over his misfortune like it is something to laugh (and write) about.

“You lecherous monk! This also want to write?! You are sick!”

I just gave Dave my most lecherous grin…

Later in the night, as we were sitting down at some playground smoking and chit chatting, I asked him again.

“Your underwear is low waist one ah?”

“No, but my jeans is. You still thinking about that incident? You really are sick in the head man. I wonder how did our paths crossed.”

“Aiyah, just asking so got more things to write mah. When I post liao remember to read and give comments ok?” I joked.

“You dare to write!”

That sounded like a threat.

"Don’t worry lah, I’ll change your name to protect your identity ok?”

“Ah, whatever lah! Lets go, if not no bus home liao!”

Write about what huh?

Will I start writing about politics and get my blog scrutinized by the gahmen? Do I write about the current hot topic that is being talked about at the big timers' blog? One that resolves around the Sgblogconsipracy? Or what?

After much pondering and 2 sleepless nights, I decided that I will still stick to writing about what I do and see in my everyday life. And that may include politics. This, is afterall, a "web diary". A page where I can look at in future years and laugh at myself. That is if only friendster still exists in future years.

So upon logging onto friendster this morning, I saw the popular searches in my network which I did not notice all these years. I guess it has been there for quite a while. Popular searches leh!


Cute Japanese ladies? Free Japan AV movie?

What is it with hot blooded Singaporeans and their fetish for Japanese women? If they wanted to find Japanese women clad in skimpy clothing, there is always the infamous photoforum. Yes, I'm guilty of patronizing the site too. What about SGgirls? SGgirls... is well... mostly candid shots of Singapore underaged kids, which brings about another topic which I won't even go there.

Anyway, back to article proper. Sure, the likes of Aki Kawamura, Ryoko Hirosu, Miwa Oshiro, Yoko Kumada, Yui Ichikawa etc etc are kawaii and all but don't they know that these ladies are only the icing on the cake? It is just a thin layer that protects the population! Think hymen!

The truth, my loyal readers, is that the bulk of Japanese women makes up the cake! Everyone is blinded by beauty! Have you ever been to Clementi roughly about after 5-6pm? You will notice that the Japanese ladies from the nearby Japanese School is not that kawaii as you think it is! As for the Japanese males, I haven't seen one who comes close to looking like Takeshi Kaneshiro. Can you handle the truth? Canya? Canya? You know what I think? You can't handle the truth!

*Looks out of window* Fuck! It is raining! How to go to the PC Fair like that? Then again, I don't have kakis to go there with. They are either

1. Been there on the first day already
2. Busy with (fill in the blanks)
3. IT noobs
   

Until the next time...